I am having a hard time with #metoo. I have for a while but it seems to be more challenging for me these days. I know as a woman I am supposed to be on the bandwagon with a whoop, holler and who-rah but I am just not there mostly because only one part of the story is considered.
I like that as women we are becoming more powerful in our stance and demanding more from our counterparts, and I love that there are men right along side us wanting the same.
There are a few things I don’t like:
- I don’t like that #metoo creates a tribe because tribes create polarization. I don’t support us against them positions.
- I don’t really know what #metoo stands for and if it’s about empowering women is that actually happening, or is that an illusion? Writing about an experience on Facebook doesn’t empower us it only puts our story out there for everyone to read. What is the intention of doing so?
- I don’t see a lot of personal accountability. Almost all interaction is a dance and while I see a lot of finger pointing, I don’t see any breakdown of the other side.
- There is no education involved that I can see. I would like the movement to actually define what constitutes sexual abuse. There seems to be a lot of defining it after the fact, and that isn’t fair.
- Movements often emulate witch-hunts, and if we look back in history none of the witch-hunts I can think of are celebrated. It wasn’t good to hunt Jews, Communists or witches and it’s not ok to villainize men without a fair trial.
- Beyond “because I said so” is there any evidence of what has actually transpired?
This is not to say there aren’t merits with opening up a conversation but is that really what is happening? Are we really wanting to have conversation or are we just wanting to point out our version of a bad guy?
I would not want to be a guy during this period. I don’t know how they maneuver the whole dating scene when sexual harassment is so subjective. What is offensive to one is not offensive to another. How do we begin to set out boundaries when we don’t understand what they are?
I agree that we need open communication and I think understanding the role we play is a good place to start. Seeing the situation from a third-party perspective. Not to blame the victim, but to give respect to all involved. Perhaps we should focus on #mypart and then everyone can explore their contribution to any situation.